How nice of you to visit again, dear readers. As the title suggests I am a lone wolf and a king that sits in a throne with only ghosts in his Kingdom.
I came to realise that I was not meant to be who I thought I was, the ridiculous one who cared for everyone close so much. I realised that I would only suffer and be driven insane if someone would get too close to me. My confidants are no longer my confidants because I expect too much and receive too little and my world collapsed upon itself to bring ruin only to me.
However I am a new person. I accept that I am meant to be just one person who is to live and care for nothing, to dream dreams and live those worlds of Imagination. There are packs of wolves and couples of wolves but I, I am the wolf that hunts by himself. I am that lone wolf.
I am the King that sits on his throne in an empty Kingdom entertained by the Jester that exist in my Imagination. And I command my servants that do not exist:
"A goblet of water, a plate of food,
Bring me whatever, that fits my mood."
This world is not my world. My world is in the Imagination where miracles happen, and where you can expect much and get more. And the battle of two personalities still rage within me, to become who I once was and be destined to fall and rot. Or to become a new one, uncaring, cruel, but he who shall never fall.
Shall I risk my destruction again, or encase myself in my world of Imagination?
Imaginator.
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): how about both? if you think caring too much is bad for you just tone it down, dont give up on that trait. trust others to be able to take care of themselves but that they will look for you when they need to ~ (:
ReplyDeleteoh & dont change yourself for those you love because they love you for who you are (:
ReplyDeleteKind words, Angie. An ISFJ needs to be appreciated greatly for the protection and servitude s/he gives. I was not appreciated and my world collapse, my nature was crushed. At last I am able to free myself from that suffering and I do not dare risk falling into that pit again. Because if I do, not only will it hurt myself greatly, it may hurt others and I will go insane again, crazed by my desires. So forth I see it best I give up on that hope that does not exist, for my sake and others. But I admit, the ISFJ in me is not completely dead and I often think of the life I wish I had and my desires fulfilled. I push it down and shake it out of my head, because those thoughts will only lead to destruction.
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